Celebrities are, as you know and swear to, our leaders. Which makes it strange I could not find any investors for my What Does Your Favorite Celebrity Think About Hot Topics app.
Doubtless the name is too long. I admit here (again) I am the world’s worst title writer. Yet while the moniker of my app is lousy, the idea is sound and lucrative.
Want to know what you should think about abortion, immigration, tariffs, gender theory, or even “climate change”? Easy! Log on Celebrity Sez (better?) and select your favorite stars. The database of their appearances and PR statements on the subject are called up and the answer is before you. Weighted, of course, by their awards (Oscars, etc.), career victories (Super Bowls, etc.) and box office takes.
I give this idea to you, dear readers, since I am not a businessman. If you make a go of it, please remember me by subscribing.
With this must-have app, you will no longer embarrass yourself by saying something stupid like “The weather doesn’t seem that bad to me”. Not after you hear your favorite star, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is going to meet with the Pope and together they, and many more eminences, are going to group-wring their hands about wee levels of an atmospheric trace gas.
The Pope is no celebrity himself, true, and is outranked by Arnie. But he’s not nothing either. The main point is that if Arnie thinks “climate change” is important, then it is important. And both you, and the Pope, ought to think so.
Incidentally, the Pope is new (maybe you heard) and given widespread celebrity support it’s well he shows us his first priority is how committed he is to Saving the Planet. Saving souls is passé anyway. And likely not needed when we expect a 1.4327% increase in pleasant summer afternoons once “climate change” hits.
The event is “Raising Hope for Climate Justice”, which takes place starting today.
As important as celebrities are, and few things are as crucial, I am ignorant of Who’s Who among the glittering stars. (I live an isolated existence.) When I looked upon the participant list, I suspected it was created with an AI prompt “Draw a panel of activists who are earnest and sincere; maximize diversity and be sure to include at least one participant with facial tattoos.”
This explains people like “Kumi Naidoo” who is supposedly “President of the Fossil Fuel Nonproliferation Treaty”. In my ears that name is the AI version of Bobson Dugnutt or Anatoli Smorin, two names a Japanese video game designer from the last century thought sounded American. And since eliminating fossil fuels would bring about a calamity worse than Global Thermonuclear War, I can’t believe such a person as “Naidoo” exists.
Still, he must. It cannot be that Arnie himself would share the stage with an AI figment. Could he?
Let’s not overlook lesser celebrities, found in the highlighted section “The music of the Conference”. Because you cannot seriously discuss “climate change” without the dulcet stylings of Mark Chait, “an Emmy Award–winning film composer and concert pianist whose music has captivated audiences worldwide.” Including, today, the Vatican.
You knew Gen Verde, “an international performing arts group made up of 19 women from 13 countries”, would be there. The howling over their biggest hit about cloud parameterization schemes in ocean-atmosphere coupled global circulation models still rings in my ears.
But I bet you didn’t expect somebody as important as Adeniké Adewale would come. She of course is the “singer-songwriter from London and is the lead performer of Whitney Houston in the tribute show – ‘Queen of the Night’ which is currently in theatres and arenas nationally and internationally.” There are rumors she was a last minute replacement for Thunderstruck, the AC DC tribute band, who turned down the Vatican for a gig in Sandusky Ohio’s annual Pumpkin Festival, but I don’t believe any of that.
Best news is that all of it will be streamed, so you won’t miss even a moment of this exciting pagan ceremony. This makes you a vital part, “like the bees who work together to produce honey, each of us has a transformative role to play.”
Organizers are anxious to remind us the conference “takes place at the end of the Season of Creation” and thus “becomes a prophetic sign of unity and care.” You know how important prophecy is, which is why ceremony leaders “seek paths of ecological conversion for the present and the future.” Which is why you must be sure to check out the event’s “Action hubs” and “Meditation Space”.
Believe in Earth and She will believe in you.
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