Your uncle sergeant Briggs is forced to go AWOL the rest of this week.
This has been some kind of winter. A lot of joyous whitestuff, and plenty of wind. It was so festive, even the truck wanted in on the fun. Alas, it got at little too rambunctious, and in the excitement killed off its fuel pump.
Then came the Great Septic Tank Incident of 2026. Picture me, then, bundled up this weekend digging through the feets (no misspelling) of snow to reveal the septic markers. Then picture me digging holes in the ground to get at two of the tanks. Then, once uncovered, picture thick columns of steam rising up majestically to greet us. Then picture—but, no. Let us draw a veil at this point.
Anyway, after this treat, the dirt had to be shoveled back into the holes, then the snow re-piled on top, lest the frigid air, suitable only for penguins, freeze the pipes.
Now the only way to get at my truck’s fuel pump (I had changed the filter) is to either cut a hole in the floor, which I did not desire, or to drop the tank, which I am not equipped to do. So I called a tow truck to bring it to the garage.
I got out early yesterday and blew off the 4 or 5 inches of snow that had fallen in the night in preparation for the tow truck. Then I went to the lakeshore because I heard an odd sound. Like a roar a freight train might make, if freight trains could roar. The waves were maybe 2 feet high, building some nice little ice castles. It was oddly calm.
Just as I got back to the driveway, it hit. A solid wall of snow and wind, maybe 40 MPH. It didn’t ramp up, it just slammed down. At times, you couldn’t see two feet in front of you. The driveway was instantly recovered, and drifts quickly blocked the door.
Right in the middle of this, the tow truck arrived. Driver’s first words were “It’s gnarly out there.”
I was amazed he had made it, since he had to come a distance. But he was bred up here, and was cheerful about his job. Off went the truck.
I stacked a lot of wood, got the fire stoked, and thanked God the power never went out.
That brings us to now, days behind in writing, with a few more delays coming. So I will take the rest of the week off, for which my apologies. No Class this week either.
It’s been a brutal winter, with at least two more weeks in which we’ll all get lots more cold and snow. My friend Joe Bastardi is hinting at the chance of two—not one, two—blizzards hitting in the next week. This is shockingly rude of him. If you see him, be sure to tell him how displeased you are about the weather.
It reminds me when I was a boy in the 1970s. It once reached -40 (in civilized units, which coincidentally is the same in barbarian units). It hasn’t got that cold—yet. But it does put me in mind of the warnings from scientists back then of a coming ice age, and global cooling.
Let Spock tell you about it. I’ll see you next week.
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Yikes, Sarge, hang in there!
Doesn’t sound fun, but hang in there. Here in the center of the country, we’ve had very little snow and mild temperatures. It looks like this will be the cold week so far, but only one day below 0F. Weather is funny.
Dr. Briggs
I reckon you can be forgiven for today’s little screed; That weather sounds pretty nasty. My only experience with that sort of white brutality (ICE violence?) came while I lived in Montreal. The worst part was that every winter I could count on 2 or 3 bone jarring slip-and-falls. Please do your best to reach the Spring with an intact skeleton.
Wish some of that snow would come west, as it looks like La Niña is not helping out here. Repairing vehicles in the snow, wind, rain, etc — been there, done that. Have fun. Looking forward to your return.
c’mon global warming!
There’s always something busting on a house or a car, and mean weather doesn’t help. The joy of home and automobile ownership!
I remember the multiple blizzards of the 1970’s.
I had to be outside on guard patrol all night in -40 temperatures in West Berlin, and that’s something I never want to do again. The stupid Lieutenant refused to issue out the parkas because “we might get them dirty”.
McChuck,
That lieutenant must be at least a congressman by now.
Briggs, that sounds just dandy. You have important and challenging work to do. Work that rewards creative solutions and physical fortitude. Ticks, mosquitoes, and immigrants are discouraged. You have little time to worry about social media. The cold is invigorating. The lovely snow sparkles in the sun as trillions of diamonds casually scattered. A fire makes the home cozy and delightful. What’s not to like? Bring on the savage winter!
Energy bills will be up with this cold.
I wonder what inflation will look like when winter is done?
At least people will be getting used to what it will be like living in Trump land once know as. Greenland!