If there's one thing that's wrong with this country, it's that our poor, overworked, not-nearly-pampered enough children have too much reading to do. Why, there's Twitter ("#lindsaylohan Hate when i…

Oh, say, can you see, by the field's klieg lights, what so proudly we hailed? And proudly hailed to the world over in full Dolby surround-sound HD. What an embarrassment!…