Best Drinking Songs?

The results of the Theme Song post are below.

Best drinking songs? How about this? I mean The Perfect Fool’s part, Ed “Fire Chief” Wynn’s bit.

Don’t you dare say it isn’t. It is, and obviously so. If you think not, it’s only because you haven’t tried it. Sluice down a schnapps and give it a go.

See, I was raised on radio. My maternal grandpa had a set of old radio show LPs which I listened to over and again. Burns and Allen, Jack Benny, The Shadow, Johnny Dollar, Big band remotes, and of course Ed Wynn’s Fire Chief. (Nowadays we can search for “OTR”—treasures await! I recommend Box 13.)

It was on those records I learned the true appreciation of the Bad Joke (that, and my father is a master). Anybody can tell a good joke: all the work is done for you in the words. But only a master comedian can make a bad one funny.

Which is why it pains me this clip is cut short. (Disney is jealous of its copyrights and longer legal ones don’t exist.) Here’s the finish. Mary Poppins and company are stuck floating at the ceiling and discover the only way to escape is to think of something sad. Wynn knows a story that will bring them down.


Wynn tells us that a man knocked at his neighbor lady’s door, and the man said, “I’m sorry to tell you madam, but I have run over your cat.” (The ceiling party begins to sink, saddened.) The lady is pained, which moves the man. “Madam, I’d like to replace your cat.” (They sink lower.) “That’s very well,” she says, “But how are you at catching mice?”


This is also the scene where Dick Van Dyke begins a story, “I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith” and Wynn interrupts, “What’s the name of his other leg?”


Drinking song runners up:

That’s it. There’s only two. Face it: you’re drinking. How many songs can you be expected to remember?

Perhaps you have other ideas?

Theme Songs

Couple weeks back we picked our theme songs, and I asked readers for ideas besides Hard to be Humble for me.

Gary suggested, with good cause, Groucho’s I’m Against It. YOS thought Fur Elise (in ragtime, or as DAV corrected, stride), played by a well-dressed gentleman (though black hats with white bands are to be discouraged). Scotian, staying with the clothing theme, went with Donald, Where’s Your Trousers?. JH said Touch of Grey.

Sera said any song by Dean Martin. This one. Though I’m more of a Bing Crosby guy (what a mullet! Hey, Giddens! When is volume II coming out?). What a voice!

Bruce Foutch was probably closest with the Peter Gunn Theme. Along those lines, and much jauntier, this, my favorite theme (Hint: “Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano. Sure, it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside”). Or perhaps this, the theme from Perry Mason, maybe the best of them all (that pause! another interesting take).

Speaking of radio…

From Dr Grumpy (as recommended by the Blonde Bombshell):

“Dr. Grumpy: ‘Any other major health issues?’

Mr. Durante: ‘I sneeze once a day, sometimes twice.'”

Think about it.


  1. MattS

    The US national Anthem.

    The music comes from an old English drinking song. Which is why you have to be half drunk to sing it right.

  2. DAV

    That’s it. There’s only two.

    Well, there IS that old standby, 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, although it’s hard to remember (let alone sing) the lyrics once you get to stanzas containing 75 or less when downing a bottle after each one — assuming you can get that far.

  3. La Longue Carabine

    …YOS thought Fur Elise (in ragtime, or as DAV corrected, stride)…

    Try playing Fur Elise in Tango rhythm — at least the first several bars. I’d embed a clip of it, but I’ve just washed my piano…(bad punchline goes here).

  4. max

    It is not entirely unknown for the Philosophers’ Song (Monty Python) to be heard on drinking events at Casa Max. For that matter every song Monty Python has done can be heard on such occasions although The Medical Love Song always has problems with forgotten lines and I am the only one who seems to enjoy singing I Like Traffic Lights (maybe because at a certain point it becomes the only song I can follow the beat to). More commonly for songs while drinking we stick to the rarely recorded classics such as which works well with the foghorn-like baritone I take on and can handle singers in various states of inebriation.

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