This being a slow week, I figure we can add to it.
Can anybody top this?
We will not be delayed.
We will not be masquerade
To the tale of a handmade.
We will not let Roe v. Wade slowly fade.
Because when we show up today,
We’re already standing up
With the tomorrow we made.
Let's get to work: https://t.co/BNVLVLM6Ji
— Amanda Gorman (@TheAmandaGorman) June 24, 2022
That don’t sing. It makes no sense (“tomorrow we made”?). Can it be made into something, though, using the same base words? Maybe not. But let’s try.
Gone! the days of our long warm shade,
From now we are to be dour red handmaids.
Gone! the stark comforts of Roe v. Wade;
Now don our costumes, our masquerade.
Gone! drunk hookups and beds unmade,
Babies and bottles now not delayed.
Gone! the scissors, the vacuums put paid,
The abortionists’ plans — now unmade!
Meh. Not the worst poem in the world, which might be its progenitor, but nowhere near the best, either.
On the day the SCOTUS opinion was delivered, I had my own jolly entry on the promised protests to come (link, which will die, sadly, of coronadoom after seven days):
Left releases Violence Chant for Friday night. Catchy.
I am woman!
My voice is shrill!
I yield to no man!
My spawn I kill!
We hate Nature!
We hate you too!
We’re ever so sure
What we must do!
Give us the apple!
The snake, the nod!
We need no pill!
We shall be as God!
How about we hear from three famous philosophers who took strong views on women?
Voices From The Past
We sit for an hour,
With old Schopenhauer:
“Women can’t be trusted, stay far away!
Seduction begins when you hear what they say.
And finally comes Doom!
When you enter their bower.”
Let’s play for a while
With keen Aristophanes:
“Now how do you ken,
That some women are men?
You had your Chance!
Now close your knees.”
Finally comes our time
With good friend Nietzsche:
“You had to act strong;
It’s where you went wrong.
For when you’re Weak!
Is when men need ya.”
No one shall criticize any of these poems without they first contribute one of their own below.
Buy my new book and learn to argue against the regime: Everything You Believe Is Wrong.