I can understand why people of color feel so bad so often about so many things. They compare themselves to people of no color, and they discover that they come up short.
Sometimes even in the strictest sense. The race that build dikes (real ones) to hold back the very sea—the raging sea itself!—is of no color. And they are the tallest.
A partial list of things we are told where of-no-colors reign supreme, at least according to diligent journalists and Experts who so often trumpet of-no-color supremacy: good toilet habits, strong families, mathematics, punctuality, diligence, aesthetics, strong work ethic, objective rational linear thinking, insisting on the correct answer, plans for the future, delayed gratification, and on and on and on. This is only a peek, a mere fraction of the amazing qualities at which people of no color are said to be supreme.
So it can’t really come as a surprise to you that people of no color also control the very heavens. Yes, even the very weather itself obeys of-no-colors. Journalists tell us so.
“Climate change is racist”. So reads the title of a recent book by British journalist Jeremy Williams. While this title might seem provocative, it’s long been recognised that people of colour suffer disproportionate harms under climate change – and this is likely to worsen in the coming decades.
However, most rich white countries, including Australia, are doing precious little to properly address this inequity. For the most part, they refuse to accept the climate debt they owe to poorer countries and communities.
In so doing, they sentence millions of people to premature death, disability or unnecessary hardship. This includes in Australia, where climate change compounds historical wrongs against First Nations communities in many ways.
Of-no-colors are awesome! What talent! What presence! What power!
Racist, incidentally, means noticing something of or at which of-no-colors are superior.
The woke call this astonishing heretofore unknown power of of-no-colors “atmospheric colonisation”. The atmosphere! The atmosphere is where eagles live, my friends. The atmosphere is where typhoons and thunder are born. Lightning. Power.
Atmospheric colonisation is a bold, manly term. It says what it means. Of-no-colors command the atmosphere. And why not? They already did the same service for space.
I don’t know what it is of-no-colors possess, what trait I mean, that allows them to withstand minor changes in the weather, changes which are called “climate change”, changes which are shrugged off by of-no-colors, strengthens them, even, but changes which sterilize, disable and massacre of-colors. Could it be the lack of color of of-no-colors lets their skin breathe more easily, allowing the hot and cold to pass right through them? The rain and the snow don’t stick? I don’t know. I’ll leave that for the scientists to tell us, those wily creatures.
Yours Truly is, as you know, an of-no-color himself. And happy to be so. It’s Okay To Be Of-No-Color. I can tell you that I revel in the heat, I relish the cold. The sun, she does not bother me (no seed oils). The clouds fight to see who will cover me in their glory.
I didn’t know that these splendid abilities were due to my of-no-colorness. I just thought that I myself was naturally superior because I was me. Well, this was a natural mistake to make, as regular readers will understand. But given my of-no-color desire for the truth and linear thinking, I acknowledge my error and will no longer make it.
Still, I do feel sorry for our lesser colorful brothers. Put me and any old of-color side by side, expose us to a degree or two increase in temperature, and wait to see which one of us survives. Again, I don’t why I should survive these minor, even trivial, indeed scarcely noticeable, atmospheric changes, and my brother should perish, but it is The Way Things Are. This is what I think the article meant by “climate injustice”. The atmosphere is unfair in its treatment of the races.
Yet who said life had to be fair? There is no use fighting against Reality. Victories can only be transient and apparent. Reality always wins, and wins hard, in the end.
You can call this disparity an “injustice” if you like, but you become, in a very real sense, the proverbial old man yelling at clouds.
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