The Man In Charge Of The Vatican Says You’re A Fool If You Don’t Believe Athletes Will Run 0.006 Seconds Faster Per Degree Temperature Increase

The Man In Charge Of The Vatican Says You’re A Fool If You Don’t Believe Athletes Will Run 0.006 Seconds Faster Per Degree Temperature Increase

In my long studied career of insolence and rough defense of Reality, not to mention my general constitutive abrasiveness—I was “born that way”—I have been called every variety of choice name. Along with each vulgar and colorful variant of jerk, even the anatomically impossible ones, I’ve been labeled an idiot, misogynist, Nazi, “racist”, anti-Semite, homophobe, transphobe, white supremacist, hater, denier and several more besides.

But I think this is the first time I have been called a fool, and called that by the highest authority in the Vatican.

According to this story,

Pope Francis spoke out against climate change deniers, calling them ‘fools’ in his first ever interview on American television…

There are people who are foolish, and even foolish if they show you them research. [sic] they don’t believe it,’ he said through an interpreter.

‘They don’t understand the situation or because of their interest, but climate change exists,’ he added.

You will recall a “climate change denier” is not one who denies that the earth’s climate changes. I have never met, and do not know of, any soul that says the climate on earth has never changed. This set of “deniers” is exactly zero, and I foresee no growth of it.

A “denier”, then, is one who casts doubt in, dislikes, disparages or, worst of all, disproves Expert “climate change” “solutions”. It is, except for a handful who like to play with science toys, i.e. models, the desire for these “solutions” that drives interest in “climate change”.

What I found fascinating was this part of the quote: “if they show you them research. they don’t believe it”.

Let me some show you some research and see if you believe it, or if you are a fool.

Why not the peer-reviewed paper “Warming climate is helping human beings run faster, jump higher and throw farther through less dense air” by Shixin Wang and a host of others in Nature: Climate and Atmospheric Science?

On the face of it, the claim is asinine and laughable. If human beings could jump higher and so forth in hot, thinner air, then the only thing saving Cpngress from flying off into space is them being anchored to earth by your wallets.

Which, when you consider it, doesn’t sound so implausible after all. Anyway, the great news from the Abstract:

Conventionally, climate warming is revealed to negatively impact human activities. Here, we reveal that human beings’ performance in anaerobic sports may benefit from climate warming. Using global weather observation and athletes’ performance datasets, we show that world-top athletes’ performances in nearly all athletics anaerobic events (i.e., sprints, jumps and throws) substantially improve as ambient temperature rises. For example, 100 m performance monotonically improves by 0.26 s as ambient temperature rises from 11.8° to 36.4 °C.

Let me first translate from Barbarian to civilized units so this is understandable. They say that from 53 degrees F to 98 degrees F, according to some model, elite runners gained an advantage of 0.26 seconds, or roughly 0.006 seconds per degree.

“Climate change”, they say, will cause globally averaged temperatures to soar a degree or so. Let’s be generous and say 5 degrees F. Real end-of-the-world number. Which means that as the world ends in heat death, elite runners attempting in vain to flee destruction will gain on average at most 0.028 seconds when they run 100 meters. It’s not clear what happens at 101 meters and beyond. More research is needed.

Those of us who plod along at more sedate rates toward our doom will perhaps realize an advantage of a millionth of a second.

If you think that’s something, wait until you learn what our scientists have to say about “reducing the air resistance to the competitors and throwing implements for hummer throw and all the sprints”.

Hummer throws, yes, a word not the result of one of my many enemies (they are everywhere) inserting a typo. On the other hand, I haven’t followed the Olympics since I was a boy and the American hockey team bested a young Vladimir Putin-led Soviet squad in 1980. So it might be that hummer throws are now a thing.

Well, all this is science, and not only science, but The Science done in the name of “climate change”. This The Science was so good, it even had equations. Here’s one of them, cut and pasted from the paper.

This is obviously science. Therefore, according to the Man in White, only a fool denies it.

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  1. Carlos Julio Casanova Guerra

    Just to clear up, even before reading the article, the man occupying Peter’s Chair, in the See of his martyrdom, didn’t say “fool”. That man and I, both, speak Spanish. I saw the thing in the original. He said ‘STUPID’; I quote: “ESTÚPIDO”. So, there you go, no one has called you a fool, but a STUPID. Eat that, pal! I hope now you are happy with that. Oh, no, wait, he also said “NECIO”, which can be translated as ‘FOOLISH’. So, yeah, he called you FOOLISH; and STUPID… And me and him and all of us

  2. Hagfish Bagpipe

    Briggs: “But I think this is the first time I have been called a fool…”

    No, Johnno pops in here regularly shouting BRIGGS YOU FOOL!!! He’s joking, but really, all men are fools, of some stripe; Briggs is a man, therefore Briggs is a fool. So’s the Pope. Even Johnno. Given that situation it’s understandable why there’s so much foolery in the world — there’s power in fooling men. Parasitic and destructive power, but worldly power nonetheless. Stupid little tricks make the world go ’round. Learning what the tricks are and why they work is an important part of a man’s education. Hence this blog.

  3. Incitadus

    Climate change is one of the greatest psy-ops in history second only to ‘that’ which must not
    be denied. At the cost of a few hundred billion in advertising, everything from the destruction
    elephants to ants, the Kabal is raking in trillions. Clever bastards lavishly applied Goebbels’s first
    rule of propaganda simple repetition and they won the world and all that’s in it. I’m sure there’s some
    statistical formula Briggs could come up with like ‘repetition over time’ and arrive at a dollar value
    that might serve their future interests. He would immediately ascend from the depths of sheepdom to
    the heights of illuminated stardom. Just remember we still don’t know who blew up the Georgia guide
    stones; the public was puzzled for an instant but now all is forgotten. It takes several generations
    to achieve those kind of results. The question is was it them or us? Was it the shot heard round the world
    or the gauntlet dropping?

  4. Tillman Eddy

    “ If human beings could jump higher and so forth in hot, thinner air, then the only thing saving Cpngress from flying off into space is them being anchored to earth by your wallets.”

    Thank you, Briggs, for the quotation! I plan to make good use of it in the (hot) future!

  5. Eric Brown

    Your enemies have inserted a typo- Cpngress.

  6. 1 – the concensus here is that I’m both stupid and foolish – so what? and, of course, the majority is always wrong anyway.

    2 – when judging the pope’s nonsense bear in mind that socialism evolved from Christianity so he’s just repeating the cant his group subscribes too – much like LLMs getting looped because so much of their input is generated by LLMs.

    3 – the study almost appears machine translated but is internally reasonable enough. The conclusions are garbage because they’re calculated to three or four decimal places from data that’s essentially integer valued – and they cook the books by ignoring anything over 400 meters along with using models rather than measures for pressure. (Personally I live at about 3200 feet; so going to the seaside acts as a kind of light pressure turbo for my lungs – but hey… it’s “science”).

  7. MikeB

    Here’s the biggest scandal – he’s not the pope. Catholics have been without a pope since Pope Benedict died. From his invalid resignation where he attempted to split the papacy in two, all the way to Jorge continually spouting actual heresy, he’s not the pope.

    As each day passes it becomes more and more obvious that Jorge is an antipope and should be treated as such.

  8. Milton Hathaway

    Personally, I find the “you are a fool” argument very persuasive. I immediately re-evaluate my entire existence, wondering how I could have possibly believed anything to the contrary, since this man standing here in front of me calling me a fool clearly knows what he is talking about, or he wouldn’t be using such definitive and assertive language. Thank you, sir, for rescuing me with your meticulously researched knowledge, and taking the time and effort to convey it to me in such a succinct, eloquent and irrefutable manner.

    I also very much appreciate people who give me much needed medical advice expressed in anger. People who are upset with me have an amazing ability to see my current health conditions with such clarity. Their heartfelt concern for my well-being is touching, and I am immediately motivated to make appointments with a half-dozen medical professionals in the disciplines they find relevant to my various conditions that they have amazingly diagnosed from only a brief observation of my symptoms.

    I asked ChatGPT for a punchy concluding witticism, and got this response (with a tiny tad of focused prompting): “The smartest people are always the most assertive; those whose truth is so potent it diminishes when sullied by mere words and the pedestrian confines of logic.” I wish I was smart enough to come up with that.

  9. Johnno

    BRIGGS, YOU RETARD! If sources are true, the man in white in the Vatican was handpicked by Washington! Which means when he speaks, active ministerium ex cathedra, you hear the will of Washington’s legion! Therefore he is well aware that rising air temperatures are a direct result of all that hot air that politicians and pundits are continuous spewing about laundering billions through weather control and Israeli Iron Dome tiles to save the olive tree forests in the Sinai that are in danger of extinction, and therefore quadrupling the prices of fast food salads in California! Washington had to include $3.5 billion in the bill to aid Islamic migrants across the ocean, whose feet having been washed by the Francis, now combined with our superheated thinning atmosphere, allow them to leap tall fences with a single bound and claim squatter’s rights in the land of the free, and especially in the homes of the brave! And you’d have to be pretty brave to voluntarily host one to several of these long term lodgers who might get very upset that you are eating olive salads in their presence during the warm sunlight hours of Ramadan, when tensions have risen by 0.006% meaning you are only one knife fight away from Australia demanding that X censor your celebrity account for fueling global tensions by an additional 1000% due to your martyrdom which Francis will refuse to acknowledge for the sake of maintaining a rate of -8.4402 degrees of ecumenism!

  10. C-Marie

    Rather, poor, poor, Francis ….

    God bless, C-Marie

  11. Cary D Cotterman

    A pope is nothing more than a pompous old dude in a silly hat and pointy elf slippers. The last time I paid any attention to what one of them said was…never. The next time will be…never.

  12. Climate Change is on a bit of back burner right now but as migration from the global south to the global north escalates in intensity to truly unmanageable levels it will come back with renewed vigour. The men with guns will get a lot more forceful in dealing with heretics.

  13. Johnno

    Cary, you’ll wish you had listened, if only because they warned you about all the shit that’s currently going down nigh 100 years and more ago! The woke didn’t just appear overnight… Who do you think was calling them out and keeping them at bay for so long? And where is that guy now?

    Considering the guys we do pay attention to have no pointy hats or fancy shoes, but suits and ties and the occasional tuxedo, how are they doing for ya? Also Franky the First and the Furious also likewise hates the traditional papal garb and traditional fancy attire… and he’s as woke as they come! Coincidence???

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