Obama: “Thank me!”


Thank you, sir! May I have another!

$800 billion “stimulus” spending.

Thank you, sir! May I have another!

Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act; Wise Latinas on the bench; SCHIP expansion; Transparency by Opacity.

Thank you, sir! May I have another!

The One was holding forth at a Democrat fund raiser and made mention, in his trademark, humor-filled sneer, of the tea partiers. He intimated that he didn’t understand—a common failing of intellectuals—the anger of these folks.

He, who came to us from on high, said that the tea partiers ought to “thank” him.

And, lo, there was much cheering and laughter from his disciples and retinue—which once more proves that these simple folk do not suffer the painful burden of insight. Ah, what I wouldn’t give to know the pure joy of unthinking belief!

What his loyal titterers failed to understand was that Mr Obama was not speaking of expressing gratitude in the normal sense of honest appreciation for a service well done. No: he meant it as a paddle-holding frat boy does as he surveys the reddening bottom of the newest initiate.

Whack! And thy response shall be, “Thank you, sir! May I have another!”

Mr Obama’s confusion that not all were gratefully bending over to accept his Socialist Rod of Penitence, his disdainful consternation that everybody did not want to be a member of his club, is in many ways understandable.

From the moment he came to us, he was surrounded by an adoring throng so thick that he could not see beyond it. Every utterance he made was chiseled immediately in stone, set into type, and rushed to print. His sermons were accompanied by exegeses so glowing that ordinary illumination was redundant.

And so, when an opposition arose he could not, as he admitted, understand it. Initially, he blamed the lack of belief as an artifact caused by a residual, or inertial, clinging to traditional religion and guns.

However, even after admonishing the indigenous populants to come to their senses, to give up their old ways, opposition continued to grow. This angered him.

So like many frat-boy bullies, instead of accepting gracefully that not all would love him, he did not reduce the severity of the discipline he was meting out. He increased it.

Obamacare you knew about. An enormous new “right” was discovered and thrust upon us. The “right” was not to health—a state of wellbeing which even Obama himself is unable to guarantee—but to “insurance.” Health itself will decrease, as it must, when it begins to be rationed.

Thank you, sir! May I have another!

Did you know of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act? This paddle “expands the rights of workers to sue employers over wage discrimination claims.” In other words, the burden of proof of innocence is put on employers who will be sued by disgruntled females who feel that they are not being paid enough.

Like NOW! leaders told us when Anita Hill accused Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment, it is the seriousness of the charges that are important. Abstractions such as guilt or innocence are meaningless distractions.

Thank you, sir! May I have another!

Obama elevated a wise Latina to the Supreme Court, and now he must seek another robe-filler. It is unclear which Branch of Identity will weep most mournfully in its demand for a seat.

Of women there are two, which we will be reminded is less than half. However, of blacks there is but one, which by all reasonable mathematics is less than two.

And yet one is still the greater of one and zero. There are no Asians. And there are no avowed homosexuals yet sitting. But there are also no transgendered, atheists, or Wiccans.

The candidates’ convictions will matter not. Of sole importance will be the image of the nominee that is reflected off the media.

Thank you, sir! May I have another!

The VAT man cometh. Stand by for in-depth predictions of the VATiness that await us. But for now, reach into your pocket and jingle your change. Hear it?

Memorize that sweet sound. It will soon exist only in your memory.

Thank you, sir! May I have another!

Cap & Trade & Tax & Spend. No need to hold your breath waiting, for it is near. But do hold your breath after it is passed, for each cycle of respiration will be a crime against humanity.

Thank you, sir! May I have another!

Back for more? I’ll give you this, you sure can take it.

It will be an interesting experiment to discover just how much punishment you can endure before breaking.


  1. JH

    Mr. Briggs,

    Might I recommend that you take a walk with your wife in Central Park? The cool, crisp air outside is good for you.

  2. Lily

    My sentiments exactly. I really feel your anger because I’m there too.

  3. Said the Guru:

    It will be an interesting experiment to discover just how much punishment you can endure before breaking.

    Of even greater interest might be which specific actions occur once the breakage commences.  Suspect it ain’t gonna be pretty, nor do I think pasty-faced news-talkers will feel thrills running down their legs then.

  4. Katie

    I am disappointed to see that our president is once again auditioning for comedian-in-chief. I’m not saying that the president isn’t allowed light moments; however, having a light moment at the expense of his fellow Americans is something (in public, with reporters present) that he should have outgrown by now. I would imagine that as a group, the tea partiers are scrupulous about their taxes and pay them on time, unlike some of the administration’s nominees and subsequent appointees. I know there was a recent survey of tea partiers, and it is a pity that one of the items measured was not “propensity to pay taxes fully and on time.” It is the president who should be thanking the tea partiers (in the conventional sense, without the paddle), not the other way around.

  5. realitycheck

    In a chess game the middle and end game depends on the opening moves. Lousy opening? Expect the worst against a skilled opponent.

  6. The frat hazing slogan is not the one I thought you were using. For some reason I pictured Oliver Twist, starving in the children’s workhouse, begging for another bowl of gruel from the obese board of “gentlemen” administrators.

    “Please, sir, I want some more.”

    Maybe that’s because in some Oregon counties more than a quarter of the population is on food stamps. Thank you, Barry Soetoro or whatever your name is. Way to go. What a swell job you and your obese minions are doing. Ha ha ha. Funny joke.

    I think it is a kindness to call these revolutionaries “socialists”. They are Maoists. That’s the brand they proudly self-adopted in the late Sixties. And that was after Mao had murdered some 50 million people in slave labor camps, rural purges, urban purges, the Great Leap Forward, and the Cultural Revolution. They aspired to be like Mao. They wished to foment revolution via mass murder.

    One of Mao’s (and Stalin’s) principal weapons was mass starvation. And in my county 26% of the residents are on food stamps. Who knows what percentage qualify but are too proud to sign up.

    Barry Soetoro has no idea of the depth of the anger he so cavalierly dismisses.

  7. Mikey

    Hmm. Apt comparison. Even the best meaning and most even handed fraternities use techniques designed to cause a pledge class to bond. That is, to lessen individual will and promote collective will — for the good of the fraternity, I suppose.

    It would not surprise me to hear The One start saying “You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.”

  8. Ari


    You said, “Health itself will decrease, as it must, when it begins to be rationed.”

    Health care is already rationed a good deal. This is a simple fundamental truth. Any time you have more demand for a good than you have supply, you will have rationing of some sort. We see it today in the allocation of transplants.

    As it stands, many people in the US already engage in health care rationing of a sort due to the fact that they are priced out of the market for health care in many instances, or due to insurance companies refusing to pay claims.

    The biggest myth in health care debates today is that the current system has efficient allocation of funds– it clearly does not. Whether or not you agree with the reforms that passed doesn’t mean that we had some sort of ideal Pareto-efficient system in place. We already had “death panels” (itself a silly construct of political tomfoolery) run by actuaries at insurance firms. They just don’t call them “death panels.” However, in reality they were people who decided, based on calculations, whether or not you were to be afforded health care requested. If not, you didn’t get the payout, and in some cases you died.

    What is that, if not some form of rationing?

    I don’t think that the insurance firms are WRONG per se, either. They need to remain profitable, and if they pay out every claim then they are unlikely to succeed at that. However, to say that rationing was introduced by the recent legislation is inaccurate. The introduction of middlemen in a supply-demand curve almost always introduces some form of inefficiency and resource rationing. In the case of health care, the introduction of some form of price controls through both physicians AND insurance firms ensures rationing, because you never reach a market clearing price that is Pareto efficient.

  9. gcb

    @realitycheck –

    The problem is, where is the skilled opponent? None of the current geniuses in charge at the RNC seem to be able to rally anything more substantial than a sense of apathy. While the Tea Party movement is interesting, it’s not running candidates for election – although it may be a sign that it’s time for America to move beyond the two-party system…

  10. john

    “One of Mao’s (and Stalin’s) principal weapons was mass starvation. And in my county 26% of the residents are on food stamps. Who knows what percentage qualify but are too proud to sign up.”

    So Mao used starvation as a weapon, and as a result, a system that attempts to alleviate starvation of its populous by subsidizing their food prices is Maoist. Gotcha.

  11. john

    I am much less angered about the ‘light moment[s] at the expense of his fellow Americans’ than I am at the disrespect that has grown commonplace in congress. Not long ago were colorful phrases and “hell no”s extremely rare and used for emphasis of positive debate. These days, many members of congress feel it is acceptable to damn, hell and insult everything they disagree with. Outbursts in congressional debates and speeches are more rudely interrupted and vile than town hall meetings. At the current pace of increasing childishness of our elected leaders, it should only be until this coming November when no one thinks anything about it when Notorious B-I-G runs for house district 7 in Alabama under the platform “I’m not talking about M-F’in Healthcare, I’m talking about M-F’in Cap’n Trade”.

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