Report Me To The Wanker South Yorkshire Police (@syptweet) — Updated

Report Me To The Wanker South Yorkshire Police (@syptweet) — Updated

I hate the policy South Yorkshire Police to report hate. I loathe it. I abominate it. I don’t like it even a little bit.

I admit it. I am a hate criminal. A furious feeler. A choleric cogitator. A rabid reasoner. An enraged estimator. A raging rationalizer. A bile-filled brain-worker. Do your duty. Report me.

The tweet, if they haven’t deleted it by now or if you can’t view it, reads:

In addition to reporting hate crime, please report non-crime hate incidents, which can include things like offensive or insulting comments, online, in person or in writing. Hate will not be tolerated in South Yorkshire. Report it and put a stop to it #HateHurtsSY

I have heard it is insulting in England to call somebody a wanker. I haven’t looked up the etymology of this word, and am not entirely sure of its proper use, but I think I can guess it. I anyway mean it in its most insulting sense, whatever that might be. The South Yorkshire Police are wankers. Dirty, nasty wankers.

Report me. My insult was made online and in writing, and is therefore eligible for reporting as a non-crime hate incident. It will not be tolerated in South Yorkshire. Report it.

Rat me out. Earn yourself points with the thought police by turning me in. It’s for the good of all mankind. I beg you. Stop me before I insult them a second time. If you don’t rat me out, I promise I will send a second hate insult their way. And the second one will be worse than the first. I do not joke nor jest. I am a rogue criminal on the loose and must be stopped.

Report below if you have tweeted to the South Yorkshire ratting me out. If nobody does this within twenty-four hours, I will create a second non-crime hate incident. This is not a threat. This is a promise. For every day that goes by without my being reported, I will create another non-crime hate incident. Don’t let me get away with this.

I am not sure my incident, which is certainly a hate incident, is a criminal hate incident. The tweet also says (inside a graphic):

Hate crime is an incident or crime, which is perceived to be motivated by prejudice or hostility against a person’s race, faith, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity.

Now I do not know the race of any South Yorkshire policeman, policewoman, or policeit. I also am unaware of the faith, or more likely the lack of it, of any South Yorkshire policecreature. Likewise, and again while I have my suspicions, I do not know if any South Yorkshire policecreature is sexually “oriented” to, say, children or fairground rides. In the same manner, I plead ignorance of any brave South Yorkshire policecreature’s gender identity.

But I do tell you—you do not have to guess!—my hate incident was motivated entirely and completely by the disability of the policecreatures responsible for this South Yorkshire Police tweet. I am also quite hostile and prejudiced against this disability. There is no reason to investigate my motive. I am telling you outright. There is no reason to call me a “suspect.” I am guilty by my own admission.

The bottom of the tweet (again in a graphic) reads:

Hate hurts. Report it and put a stop to it.

No-one should have to live with fear, anxiety, or consequences of being ‘different’.


Hate hurts? I hope my hate stings. I hope it wounds. I pray it grieves.

And you heard them. Report it and put a stop to it. If you don’t, there will be more.

I say—I insist—the South Yorkshire Police must and should have to live with the fear, anxiety and consequences of their being “different.”

The disability of which I speak, why I say they are (in full scare quotes) “different”, is their lack of mental ability to grasp the idiocy of their position. The mental retardation that caused these wankers (there it is again!) to say “No-one should have to live with…consequences of being ‘different'” is nothing less than awe-inspiringly stupid.

Should a man who believes his career lies in lightening banks of their cash by shotgun incentive live with the consequences of his being “different”? No!, say the South Yorkshire Police.

Should a man who digs up bodies from the graveyard and simulates sex with them have to live with the fear, anxiety, or consequences of being “different”? No!, say the South Yorkshire Police.

The mentally disabled South Yorkshire Police are wankers. They are also, it turns out, in some cases rapists and procurers.

Report me.

Update My hate spree has been stopped. I have been reported. Here and here. When I am arrested and tried, I shall like Ghandi ask for the maximum penalty.


  1. grodrigues

    And while you are at it, report me too as I hereby join Mr. Briggs in denouncing the South Yorkshire police as wankers.

    I would do it myself, that is report myself, but I do not use twitter or facebook or any of those social network thingies.

    Any contacts you may need so that the wankers of the South Yorkshire police can come to my house and arrest me will be given upon request — contact me here or ask Mr. Briggs as he has my email.

  2. Ted

    I don’t use Twitter or Facebook; guess your safe for now.

  3. They can’t help it. Their master tell them there are six fingers, so they see six fingers. Their masters tell them that “hate crime” (defined as any opinion contrary to the daily narrative) is more important than real crime (like rape and murder). So they concentrate on “hate crimes” and ignore or actively cover up the actions of the politically untouchables.

    They’re like dogs with rabies. They can no longer think. What was it we used to do with rabid dogs? If I could only remember, but memories have been forbidden by law.

  4. John B()

    I am not sure my incident, which is certainly a hate incident, is a criminal hate incident.

    … motivated by prejudice or hostility against a person’s …, disability, …

    The mentally disabled South Yorkshire Police are wankers.

    Dude! You just answered your own question! That is criminal hate!

    … And what about Love?

  5. John B()


    No Twitter here, how do I report by Facebook?

  6. Sheri

    “perceived to be motivated” = made up in one’s head

    Love the defiance, Briggs!

    This is RUSSIA—at least the Russia I was warned about as a child. Where kids rat out their parents for saying anything that even hinted at anti-soviet. It’s not Trump colluding with the Russians—it’s the whole of Europe and half the world. I guess they were right when I was younger—sit on your behind and do ZIP and you end up living in he// (not sure if I can use that word—could be hate speech in someone’s deluded perception. But what the heck…). A nightmare that you richly deserve and I have zero sympathy for your situation. Stupidity, ignorance and apathy leads to slaves to the overlords. Learn to love it, you fool Brits.

  7. Gary

    Well, you played right into their hands and outed yourself as a loony. Instead you should report the police tweet itself as offensive hatred that targets anyone who speaks. They have wounded your sensibilities with the accusation that innocent comments might get you hauled into intolerance court for a thorough stamping out of whatever you are deemed guilty of. The nerve! It’s insulting on its face!

  8. Jim Fedako

    Briggs —


    It is NOT you who offends. It is THEY.

    Do you not see that it is you who now “lives with fear, anxiety, or consequences of being ‘different’.” Is it not your faith that is causing this difference?

    You MUST report them and they must take action — against their own selves.

  9. JohnK

    Just want to remind everyone that Rotherham (Yes, that Rotherham) is in South Yorkshire.

  10. ” ‘If there is hope,’ wrote Winston, ‘it lies in the proles.’ If there was hope, it MUST lie in the proles, because only there in those swarming disregarded masses, 85 per cent of the population of Oceania, could the force to destroy the Party ever be generated. The Party could not be overthrown from within.”

    The alt-right is defined as the faction actually fighting back against the left. That is why we are vilified by both the left and their controlled opposition.

  11. Milton Hathaway

    “I do not know the race of . . .”

    I see no evidence that awareness or intention are considered mitigating factors when accused of hate speech. Even if they were, you would be assumed guilty, requiring innocence to be proven.

  12. Joy

    I haven’t had time to tread this yet but you can’t say “wnkr”!!!!
    It’s very very rude….very very rude indeed!
    While I’m about it, you can’t say “tssr” or fanny!

  13. Ken

    Local (G. Britain) press report hi-lites have been overwhelmingly negative to include this observation:

    “The situation [re the Yorkshire tweet] echoes similar concerns raised in March when London Metropolitan Police issued new “hate crime” guidelines that not only extended to merely “using offensive language” about “who you are,” but said that “[e]vidence of the hate element is not a requirement” so long as a victim, third party, or officer merely “perceive[s]” hate.”


    What a perfect recipe for abuse.

    The Atlantic has a good article about some of the problems with this kind of protection:

  14. Michael Ozanne

    Wanker is British Shorthand for somebody acutely suffering from “Portnoy’s Complaint”… with or without the liver…

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