As has been our tradition these many years, it’s time to register our predictions for the coming year. We look at how well we did last year tomorrow.
- Number your predictions, using numbers, like this.
- Limit your predictions to 5, a number less than 6 or more.
- No sports. Since it became woke and fully corperatized, it’s boring. Have you ever heard sportsball talk on the radio? I’d rather listen to a Nancy Pelosi speech.
- Be specific and provide a way to verify your projections.
- Not only be specific, but feel free to attach a probability word (numbers are next to useless for scenarios/forecasts/predictions of our kind).
- Verified predictions of our coming Doom will receive very little weight, because we all understand that the end of the year will be worse than the beginning, and likely much worse: motus in fine velocior. Verified predictions of precise Doom receive high weight. Example: Donald Trump announces he will undergo sex “reassignment” surgery—and then he does it.
My attempts last year stank. But error does not slow me down. Here are my forecasts, numbered using numbers, and using numbers less than 6. I may add to these throughout the week as my intelligence and perspicacity grows.
- Trump will survive an assassination attempt. I think this has low probability (given many unarticulated reasons) for 2019, but modest for 2020. It edges past 50-50 if he institutes any policy perceived as against sexual deviancy or in forswearing all foreign entanglements.
- We will see among the evil chattering class at least seven strokes, a good dozen heart attacks, a burst spleen or two, and maybe even a suicide after the notorious RBG at last arrives at her fiery final destination and it is realized Trump gets to name another SCOTUS nominee. (Not, sadly, that the first two were in any way reactionary.)
- We will see a noticeable surge in dietary advice, recommendations, arguments, media harassment and government propaganda about “healthy” plant-based diets. Take this move by Panera Bread, a company that makes a good profit from same. More ominously, animals will begin to have legal “rights”, a metaphysical impossibility. Well, so is same-sex “marriage”, “transexuals”, atheism, etc., so impossible is no limitation.
- Every single day, save Sundays, there will be at least one media outlet running an “impeachment” story. This will fade to near 0 after stories on 2020 election begin. That the vast majority of people have no idea what this word means (few to none recall Bill Clinton was impeached), will in part account for the onslaught.
- Universities are increasingly requiring diversity statements for hiring and promotion. These oaths of fealty to ideology will begin to be required for top positions at corporations. There will be at least one such announcement or story on this in 2019.
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Enter your sagacious foresights now! Send this post to friends who are always bragging about how great they are at knowing what is to come. Time to put up or keep quiet.