The story of the middle-aged white woman who told a black man that she would call the police and tell the police that there is an “African-American man…threatening myself and my dog.” Most people, upon first hearing the story of the dog walker and the bird watcher would think “goodness gracious” and would not be surprised to find out that the woman’s life was unraveling—that her job had gone into hiding, and that her dog was confiscated. Not only that there were other media reports that she was involved with a married man whose wife was pregnant, and there might have been another girlfriend or an abortion, or a loan for $65,000 that was never paid back, and a lawsuit. These details are murky, but it doesn’t look good for Karen.
So, here she is, 41 years old, and until last month, was a prototypical career woman with a good job at a good firm, but with no husband, and no children. She was sold a bill a goods, from teachers, professors, friends, colleagues, and perhaps even parents other family members that “a woman is just as good as a man”—and in fact, needs, no man at all to make her way in the world. Feminism continues to make life miserable for women. Its supports try to bolster “girl power” with feeble attempts at humor—reinventing the honest-to-goodness spinster as the “wine aunt.” There is no attempt to hide the fact that many women—with their birthright taken from them—turn to drink.
The sad and sorry truth is that females and males were meant for companionship. They were meant to be man and wife. They were meant to have families. The triumph of feminism in the last 50 years is that they were able to shame, cadge, and cajole women into the workforce in large numbers. Why is working for “the man” 40 hours a week much better for one’s health and well being than working for “a man”–that is, keeping a home, preparing the meals, and taking care of the children. Wither the value of the Excel spreadsheet updates?
There is this myth that feminists have managed to propagate—that the woman, as wife, is the slave to the man. Really? She gets to enjoy her home and eat the meals she prepared. She may get an hour or two to put up her feet and indulge in a hobby. How many employers are as generous? Hubby isn’t making her take her meals in the pantry. The entire family—including the female—benefits from her presence and efforts. There has been very little honest public comment on what is lost—and has been lost—by prodding generations of women into the workforce and denying them—as in the case of the Central Park dog walker—a husband and a chance to have a family.
“A family” is not just an assemblage of a group of individuals. “My friends are my family,” some people like to say. Well, maybe they are, but when real trouble strikes, and when real help is needed, it is pretty easy for the fake family members to split and find better things to do with their time. Robert Frost famously remarked, “Home is where, when you go there, they have to take you in.” “They” in this case is the family—the timeworn parents or grandparents. “They” know their obligation. The others have no such obligation.
What is the future of our protagonist? She is getting a bit long in the tooth. Her future, which was once rosy and bright, is shadowed. If she has savings and investments, she may be able to weather the storm, maybe take some time out and get another degree, and eventually put herself back on the career track. If she doesn’t have resources, she may have to go somewhere where they will let her in. She might have to find some kind of work, but whatever it is, it will be drudgery compared to having one’s own husband, and one’s own children to care for and to enjoy. And, in the end, she will die, likely alone. With no one to hold her hand in theirs and tell her that they love her.
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