The Most Politically Incorrect, Unwokeist Article You Will Ever Read

The Most Politically Incorrect, Unwokeist Article You Will Ever Read

Hello, dear readers. Long time no see. Welcome to the New Year.

Today, I submit to you a white paper on a master list of forbidden words (which the mailman delivered today) Americans should never use, compiled by a red team of effeminate woke uppity Stanford academics.

Incidentally, the list does not, contrary to rumor, begin with a trigger warning. Maybe they didn’t have the manpower to put it in. But I believe the man in charge said about the warning “No can do“.

Some of you will doubtless feel gyped over this. But the rule of thumb in approaching any academic writing is to expect the tone deaf. Anyway, the lack of a warning is nothing to commit suicide over.

I thought it well to use this seminal Forbidden Words list to infer what we could about its authors. Do some detective work. I didn’t want to be a slave to any strict methodology, and I’m no sociology guru. This isn’t a blinded study or anything: the review is therefore informal.

Still, our investigation isn’t entirely crippled—I wasn’t going to abort because of lack of rigor, recalling there’s more than one way to skin a cat. And as a special sanity check, I had the post checked for the standard typos my enemies usually insert.

You guys in the peanut gallery will enjoy this. So let’s pull the trigger and get going! Geronimo!, as they say.

After reading the list, I discern the Word Banning Committee must have had a chairman, or even chairwoman, of exceptional fragility. Somebody had to watch over the group cracking the whip.

I don’t think the committee suffered from too many chiefs, and not enough indians, not enough braves, if you follow me, because the list is as exclusive as they could make it.

I’d guess the panel of authors was comprised of a few crazy walk-in freshmen, mixed in with with possibly senile grey-beards. Plus a good share of mentally ill ladies and dumb DIE deans.

There had to be at least one Karen, even the odd gentlemen or two. Given Diversity concerns, surely there were people of color—excuse me, African Americans—maybe some transgendered for spice. They would have been desperate for a hermaphrodite for bragging rights, but there aren’t enough to go around, like blacks at New York law firms.

In other words, no hicks and no hillbillies and certainly no normal
: just the standard academic tribe using tribal knowledge .

I’m guessing they started their pow wow by Zooming in and announcing their “preferred” pronouns. (Honestly, they wouldn’t have the balls not to
.) Maybe it was stand up meeting or a brown bag instead. I’m not sure. Likely they started slow, then went balls to the wall, real gangbusters. Because the list is huge.

Judging by how retarded the list is, and how stupid most of the entries, proves how handicapped their knowledge of the English language is.

The list is also tone deaf in many places, which reflects standard academic bias. The list is huge, so we infer a lot of man hours went into in this. Can you imagine the editing task? Likely assigned to the low man on the totem pole.

Some of the banned words are perplexing. Like homeless person and prostitute, which is very strange for people so accustomed to writing grants.

And can you believe they banned Philippine Islands? Lame. Somebody basket case with OCD must have made that call. Or maybe they were at it so long they became addicted to banning words.

If anybody at Stanford sees this post, I’ll be blacklisted for sure, even though I think I killed it. Well, I’ve always been a Black Sheep.

I can see it now. Pencil-necked soyboy and unnaturally colored hair professors on the warpath. They may be so incensed they’ll call their congressman—or maybe even congresswoman. And when they come from me these professors will all shout “Hip-hip

But I say, don’t be upset, let’s bury the hatchet and be friends!

If you haven’t already, think about donating. I have to hold down the fort here, pay off the webmaster (who just raised fees $5 a month), and feed the landlord after all. And he can be one angry man. At least I think it’s a he. Could be a she. I’d like to know, because I like to call a spade a spade.

And these days you never really do know: “zer” could be a shemale or a tranny, or even, Lord help us, straight. I’d hate to get blackballed over using the wrong term.

All comments to this post must contain at least one forbidden word.

Buy my new book and learn to argue against the regime: Everything You Believe Is Wrong.

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  1. MikeW

    Briggs, I may be beating a dead horse here, but once again your hot link doesn’t work.

  2. Wanted to leave a comment, but no can do because I’m laughing so hard I fell and crippled myself. Happy New Year!

  3. The Continental Op

    What a bunch of retarded faggots

  4. Russo

    I have to say that I’m addicted to your posts about the clearly mentally ill purveyors of DIE(!). Your writing is a gift to all mankind. I’ll bet your spirit animal is the lion.

  5. John B()


    Thanks! It’s worse than we thought

    On one hand “They” BLACKLIST “basket case” because of ITS etymological underpinning which are unknown to 99.9% of the people.

    On the other hand “They” BLACKLIST “calling a spade a spade” NOT because of ITS innocent etymological roots but because of a connotation that should have been out of use at least since the eighties

    At least I have heard ‘spade’ used in a coon’s age.

    HIP HIP HOORAY? Good grief

    So it goes

  6. JR Ewing

    I really wanted to point out that “neurodivergent” is an amazing term, but your rules require me to just say “retarded”.

    Also, notice how there are quite a few terms on the list with exceptions if “Some in the community do identify with and self-describe as the term”.

  7. spudjr60

    These emotionally crippled smarty pants don’t even know the “sex” neutral term for congressman.
    Hey you honor addicted eggheads the term isn’t congressperson, it is member of congress.

  8. Ray Robertson

    MASTER Briggs,

    It has come to our attention that you are an ADDICT in the fight against social justice warriors.* Your OCD commitment to writing with use of a substantial number of these forbidden terms is a sorry use of your MAN HOURS. You are the BLACK SHEEP of MANKIND. Your SPIRIT ANIMAL is likely a cockatoo as you are taking a big nasty $hit on everyone’s values. To show some respect to your fellow man in taking a little extra time to write more tactfully should be a CAKEWALK.

    What is your motive in this treatise of malign creativity? Is it your intention to JEW your white readers into paid subscriptions on your silly blog? SUBMIT and recant post-haste!

    Shame on you, and it is our hope that you will COMMIT SUICIDE. Better yet, may a hottentot** THUG wearing a WIFE BEATER leave you CRIPPLED and CONFINED TO A WHEELCHAIR.

    *Is SJW not derogatory? I thought it was? But not on the list, so it must be acceptable?
    **Lol “hottentot” is clearly acceptable verbiage. Nota Bene, YOU GUYS.

  9. Vermont Crank

    Owing to the long march through the institutions by the red diaper babies, Stanford was already screwed, Jewed and tatooed by the time the nigga race hustler Jesse Jackson arrived to stick a fork in those western turkeys

    Jesse is the lyimg bastid (“Martin Luther King died in my arms”) who told Americans to call negroes African Americans and whitey did as he was told even though it was MLK his own self who said that Negroes don’t know anything about Africa.

    (Is this too churlish?)

  10. Ann Cherry

    It isn’t just politically incorrect words and phrases, but also those little “micro-inequities” that must be avoided.

    The Dept. of Homeland Security has gotten in on the act, publishing a list entitled “Examples of Micro-Inequities”:

    -Constantly being interrupted while you are talking

    -Being left out of a discussion/project

    -Trying to speak with someone who is reading/sending e-mails during conversation

    -Talking with someone who keeps looking as his/her watch

    -Not being introduced in a meeting and then being ignored.

    We can be pretty sure that whoever wrote this list was either a woman, or a man who wishes he was a woman, or a woman who wishes she were a man.

    Some of us might call this list, “Examples of Rudeness”, with “rudeness” defined as “discourtesy or bad manners.”

    Others might wonder whether, if they encounter these behaviors regularly, they might be talking too much, or too long. Sometimes rudeness is just an awkward (or passive-aggressive) way of giving social cues.

    Our federal agencies prefer to call these behaviors “micro-inequities”, but what we’re really wondering is why an agency tasked with combatting terrorism and “protecting the homeland” is fretting over someone looking at their watch while being talked at.

    Don’t they have more important things to worry about, like why they and our other federal agencies are now allowing ILLEGAL ALIENS, some of them enemy combatants, from dozens of foreign countries across the globe, to freely cross our southern border, often bringing with them, weapons of chemical warfare, such as fentanyl?

  11. Paul Daly

    Wtf are u gibbering about. Anyway it’s person hours & Congress persons ok!

  12. Paul Daly

    Wtf are u gibbering about. Anyway, it’s person hours & Congress persons & I forgot to say a banned word because I’ve got a writing handicap & stuff.

  13. Phil R

    I haven’t read something this humorous in a coon’s age.

  14. Joao Martins

    Does that apply to geometry?
    Must Stanfordians say from now on that “Two points define a hetersexual line”?

  15. Cary Cotterman

    Contributors to that university who actually have working brains might want to take back their donations, but they probably don’t want to be seen as Indian givers.

  16. Cary Cotterman

    Some of the suggested substitutions are comical. For example, “devoted” to heroin, instead of “addicted”.

  17. Cary Cotterman

    Sorry to keep flogging a dead horse–if only there was a way to edit comments, I could have killed three birds with one stone–but after reading the paper itself, it occurred to me that it serves as a sort of test of based-ness. The more times you laugh out loud while reading the list, the more based you probably are. (They should probably add “based” to the list.) Okay, over-and-out, I promise.

  18. Whitney

    It says not to use African American and use black instead. Didn’t they spend a couple generations teaching the opposite.

  19. Forbes

    Who said IT nerds didn’t have a sense of humor? (I’m assuming nerd is a naughty word, though one that is okay “in the community.”)

  20. John B()

    Wow! from the Introductory paragraph:

    “…published by the Stanford CIO Council (CIOC) and {People of Color} in Technology (POC-IT) affinity group in December 2020.”

    Then on page 7:
    Instead of
    people of color (used generically)
    ……………………………………………………….Consider Using
    ……………………………………………………….BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, andPeople of Color)
    ……………………………………………………………………………………………….If speaking about a specific group, name that group.

    Rules for thee

  21. Milton Hathaway

    Fun post, Professor Briggs, mighty white of you.

  22. Vermont Crank

    I am the same age as Israel and when I was growing up in Springfield, Vermont I used to go to Wheelers’s Drug Store and ask for “Nigger Babies” as did all of my friends.

    Wheeler’s no longer exists.

    It is my understanding that many minorities objected to this when they leaned what was happening but I think it is worth noting that the name “Nigger Babies” seemed apt because the candy was dark colored sweet, and shaped like a negro and no offense was intended by the name whereas I was not aware of any candy that was called Honky Donkey, but if such a candy did exist- white colored, sweet, and in the shape of a donkey – I doubt I’d have been offended.

    As an aside, Vermont was even whiter back then (in 1960 America was 90% white) than most any other state and the first time I saw a negro was when the our Cosmos (nickname of our team) Basketball team played Bellows Free Academy in a regional semifinal game and the visiting team was lead out of the locker room by a negro named Ollie Dunlap (GREAT athlete who later played in the Canadian Football League) who slowly dribbled onto and then down the court and then dunked the basketball.

    We were shocked and not one of us were other than amased – in a good way – and not one of us shouted nigger or anything.

    We just looked at each other and said – DID YOU JUST SEE THAT?

    Now, when I was still watching the NFL the negroes made it clear they hated me and all other Whiteys but that is what happens when a country surrenders to the ideology of equality.

    O, and if’n’anyone starts to market a candy named Honkey Donkey I’m gonna expect some comp..

  23. C.R.Dickson

    When I visited China in the early 80’s, it always started in Hong Kong (British back then), followed by a second flight inland to Beijing. The HK stores had this remarkable toothpaste called Darkie Tooth Paste. There were even Ads on TV. Surprisingly, this can be still found on Google-Gang-You-Tube.

    I used to buy 10 or 20 of them and give them away as gifts when I returned home. See clip here (about 1 min):

    A long time ago (like mid- 80’s and before all this perversion of reality appeared), there was a black financial person who worked for the City part of Washington DC. He used the word niggardly to describe the budget and he was fired.

    Niggard (14th C) is derived from the Middle English word nigon, which is probably derived from Old Norse hn?ggr and Old English hn?aw..

    And, don’t forget … that Musk tweeter, who also makes autos with spontaneously combusting engines, is an African American.

  24. Kip Hansen

    The Standford document has, just before the lit of forbidden words: “Content Warning: This website contains language that is offensive or harmful. Please engage with this website at your own pace.”

  25. Can no longer call a spade a spade.

    Should I object when our principal calls a stand up meeting just to mess with them or do I run the risk of being taken seriously?

  26. Dieter Kief

    Cary Cotterman – “devoted to heroin” would be a nice title for a comedy about the hilarious end 70ies starting 80ies.

    Somebody could combine this list with a drunken rapport of the famous but now somehow retacted Stanford Prison experiment – that would be nice! Comedians: It’s your turn!

    I’d also, Mr. Briggs, love to see a professorship for coloured hair – could also be for hair-colouring, I would not be picky here. As long as the “très sympa” fat lady is part of the scene. – Ahhhh: “Polythene Pam” – – – “What-a-Scene!”

  27. Dr K.A. Rodgers

    John B(),

    How long before someone draws a link with the Marines (h)oorah?

  28. Since we may no longer refer to the class of cowardly, retarded, traitorous faggots as “Congressmen”, I propose the new appellation, “Congressthings.” “Thing” is, of course, always an appropriate reference to a trannie.

  29. David M. Bower


    I am surprised they didn’t propose to ban the following words / phrases:

    1. alpha male

    2. top dog

    3. Big Man on Campus

    4. Nazi

    5. autistic / autistic savant

    6. hyperactive

    7. obese

    8. fat

    9. Islamophobe

    10. lazy

    11. evil

    12. your man on the street

    13. large and in charge

    14. ugly

    15. slow

    16. pregnant

    17. hip

  30. NIdahoCatholic

    I’ve noticed some websites are now using the term “landing page” instead of homepage to avoid offending all those living in tent cities by the freeway. Freeway? I’m TRIGGERED!

  31. Dividualist

    Interesting how trigger warnings were originally criticized from the right, as in, coddling super sensitive people, infantilizing people. Scott Alexander proposed content warning as a compromise. “content note” I actually like! It does not imply super sensitivity, merely that people for one reason or another are not interested in reading a text. Which is true. Like a summary, it helps the potential reader not waste their time.

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