Chimp Out Blamed On Global Cooling

Chimp Out Blamed On Global Cooling

Here’s a story you didn’t see coming, but should have, given how easily Experts are persuaded by other Experts to believe in each others’ Expertology.

Headline: “Chimps are spotted ganging up on, killing and eating GORILLAS in Africa for first time ever – and scientists fear global warming is to blame.”

First the facts of the Chimp Out.

Chimpanzees living at Africa’s Loango National Park in Gabon are attacking and killing gorillas that also call the region home in what researchers are saying is a first in the scientific community…

The harmony came to a screeching halt in 2019, when, on two occasions, chimps formed coalitions and attacked a group of gorillas for a combined 124 minutes that ended with two dead infant gorillas.

The second encounter ended with a dead, mutilated infant that was almost entirely consumed by one adult chimpanzee female.

Hope she left the bones.

Diversity, it seems, is not the strength of primates. Or, put in a more old fashioned way, with differences plus nearness comes conflict. And hasty dinners.

Either way of stating it implies that this isn’t an especially interesting story, except, possibly in what it implies about the digestive capacities of chimps, the nasty beasts.

Alas, it becomes a story because of Global Cooling, a.k.a. Global Warming, a.k.a. Climate Change a.k.a. et cetera.

Tobias Deschner, a primatologist at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, said in a statement: ‘It could be that sharing of food resources by chimpanzees, gorillas and forest elephants in the Loango National Park results in increased competition and sometimes even in lethal interactions between the two great ape species.

‘The increased food competition may also be caused by the more recent phenomenon of climate change and a collapse in fruit availability as observed in other tropical forests in Gabon.’

Could maybe might perhaps. Which become, in the minds of the media and Experts, definite certainly did caused. The suggestion is all the confirmation that is needed.

Now you might not know it, but many biologists believe in the Great Peace between species, as anthropologists believe in the Great Peace of native peoples—i.e., non-white peoples uninfluenced by whites.

The theory goes that non-white “natives” were never aggressive, rarely fought, and, when they spoke, the wind gently blew back their hair as wisdom glided off their lips. They lived at one with nature, presumably the nutrients flowing into them from the air, so that they could avoid killing anything.

With primates, this:

“Interactions between chimpanzees and gorillas have so far been considered as relatively relaxed”, says Simone Pika. “We have regularly observed both species interacting peacefully in foraging trees. Our colleagues from Congo even witnessed playful interactions between the two great ape species.”

Lethal encounters between the chimpanzees and gorillas have so far never been documented. “Our observations provide the first evidence that the presence of chimpanzees can have a lethal impact on gorillas. We now want to investigate the factors triggering these surprisingly aggressive interactions,” says Tobias Deschner.

Chimps never have hair long enough to appear artistic as it waves soothingly behind them. Nor are they great conversationalists.

They are, however, as said above, nasty beasts. They have long been observed to not only attack beasts of other species, but also themselves, killing conspecifics, and eating them. Here’s a headline we brought to you four years ago: “Chimps beat up, murder and then cannibalise their former tyrant” (the original liked YouTube video has gone missing).

Experts cannot, even after repeated observations like this, bear to believe that their nonhuman friends can be aggressive by nature. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but they must blame the aggression they see on anything and everything except the beasts themselves.

In this case, it’s not the mixing of species and aggressive nature of nasty beasts, but Global Cooling triggering fights.

So I had a look-see at the weather in Gabon, where the chimp and ape war occurred. One source has Gabon weather going back years. Here’s a snapshot for historical 22 Julys.

Seem like anything going on to you? Feel free to check other dates. Good luck finding a weather departure that could have caused the Chimp Out. I coincidentally had a private communication from Joe Bastardi, who has complete knowledge of all weather events everywhere everywhen, who confirmed the non-changes in Gabon.

The only point I wish to make is not to stay away from voracious monkeys, but that the love of theory is the root of all scientific evil. Here there are two theories: Global Cooling, which only Deniers question, and the passivity of beasts, which is too darling a theory to be disbelieved.

Anyway, I have five crisp new dollar bills says the researchers will “discover” that, yes indeedy, Global Cooling, properly interpreted, caused the war.

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  1. NIdahoCatholic

    Maybe the gorillas sat on a chimp named “George” until he died.

  2. John B(S)

    Experts cannot, even after repeated observations like this, bear to believe that their nonhuman friends can be aggressive by nature. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but they must blame the aggression they see on anything and everything except the beasts themselves.

    What about TV Violence? Have they considered that?

    CNN? Brian Stelter?

  3. C.R.Dickson

    Travis, a pet chimp in Connecticut, attacked and peacefully mauled Charla Nash in 2009. Although the police shot Travis dead on the spot, there were no ensuing protests. A picture of Travis, who looks a lot like the formerly fat Al Sharpton during his Tawana Brawley days, and some before and after pictures of Charla getting a face plant are here:
    Bonzo a female Chimp, however, apparently had no problems working with Ronald Reagan while making the 1951 movie Bedtime for Bonzo.

  4. Hagfish Bagpipe

    ”Anyway, I have five crisp new dollar bills says the researchers will “discover” that, yes indeedy, Global Cooling, properly interpreted, caused the war.”

    I’ll see your fin and raise you a sawbuck — my theory, which is mine, and cannot be denied because it is self-evident experts say, and studies show, and with which all decent men agree, is that these are peaceful chimps who did their duty and got the shot and were sorely vexed when the ape mommas refused to vex their ape babies, so the chimps, understandably upset, had no choice but to beat the little ape babies to death and eat them. A one-world dictatorship under Bill Gates would have prevented this unfortunate, but necessary lynching. No, don’t send me the money. Consider it a donation. You’re welcome.

  5. Robin

    As an expert expertologist I can say without any doubt that the offending chimps are obviously the white males (at least whiter than the gorillas). Therefore this is yet another example of privileged white(r) male aggression against defenceless and innocent gorillas …

    And anybody that disagrees with me is racist.

  6. Hagfish Bagpipe

    My other theory, which is mine, is that the racist apes, under the malign influence of fossil fuels, had taunted the chimps as “chiggers”, in which case the violent response is not only understandable but commendable. Alternatively, the transphobic chimps, under the malign influence of troglodyte privilege, were outraged at the cross-dressing antics of the little ape babies. More study is needed.

  7. John B(S)

    Wasn’t there a picture of a chimp or gorilla during the Jan 6 Insurrection?

    Is the Congressional Committee looking into that?

  8. Kenan Meyer

    Did they send James Comey to interrogate the chimpanzee?

  9. John Garrett

    Ask the Algonquins what they think of those unagressive, peace-loving Iroquois.
    Whoops, I forgot. You can’t. The Iroquois wiped them all (i.e., 100%) out.

    Those nice servile Comanche were probably as good as, if not better than, the Iroquois and Algonquins at slowly burning their captives alive.

  10. Doghouse Riley

    “Chimp out?” That’s racist, Briggs. FBI white supremacist squad will be calling soon if not already.

  11. Sheri

    This is why PETA is trying to steal gorillas from a woman from Missouri, I believe, and the gorillas will end up dead. PETA, like other ignorant but rich animal “rights” groups, puts gorillas together in new packs and the new pack kills the intruder (Gorillas are smarter than Biden!!!). Dead gorillas are worthless except for propaganda and they get plenty out of them.

    The one cool thing is Global Cooling slaughtered Darwin. There is no natural selection, no survival of the fittest. Darwin was an idiot who did not recognize a warming world was HUMAN’S fault. Finally, Darwin gets his due. I love it.

  12. Johnno

    Careful now, those chimps over there might be one of these expert’s cousins, since experts believe with all their mighty expertise that human beings and chimps and gorillas are all descendents of the pre-alpha monkey, which sprouted from the egg of a fish that grew from a puddle of mud struck by magic lightning when global weather was way crazier than now.

    If you can’t respect your common ancestors, then how will we ever solve racism?

    But please note that the beautiful whites were descended from beautiful apes, but the blacks are from different less pure mongrel stock. That’s what the trusted science told us! Experts were unanimous! That’s why every good white liberal democrat knows it is all up to them to feed and clothe those lesser than themselves, and will fight all of nature and natural law itself until there is equality.

  13. Mike Devine

    this is all part of the Great Primate Reset: the gorillas will own nothing and be happy

  14. Johnno

    Experts are calling for Climate Change to be added to Death Certificates.

    Climate deaths will be the new pandemic once they phase out covid by phasing out PCR testing for covid and instead use it to detect the effects of the weather in you.

    Lockdowns and masks will also save you from the climate, but now they will also have to turn your electricity off periodically so as to curtail overconsumption. Trust the science! Just trust it!

  15. Amateur Brain Surgeon

    Ask the Algonquins what they think of those unagressive, peace-loving Iroquois.
    Whoops, I forgot. You can’t. The Iroquois wiped them all (i.e., 100%) out.

    Dear John G. That is not what ABS, born into a large Irish-Algonquin Clan in Southern Vermont, was told by his grandmother in the 1950s. She her own self was one of many (she is not sure how many) children dropped off at various New England Orphanages by her Mom who was both an attractive actress (New York amongst other places) and one not too stingy with her sexual favors.

    Speaking of Clan, The KKK burned a cross (this was in the 1930s) in the back yard of his paternal grandfather in Springfield, Vermont when he converted from Methodism.

    Owing to his heritage, every Saint Paddy’s Day, ABS likes to get drunk and scalp protestants.

  16. Yancey Ward

    “Did they send James Comey to interrogate the chimpanzee?”

    Boy, I hope so- Comey could feed a family of chimps for at least a month or two.

  17. Johnno

    The government gorillas came to the chimps demanding they be vexxed.

    The chimps did the right thing.

    The chimps are truly smarter than the average human.

    Learn from the chimps.

  18. The summary of “Population Density of Chimpanzees and Gorillas in the Petit Loango Reserve, Gabon: Employing a New Method to Distinguish Between Nests of the Two Species” available to the public on the Springer Link site contains enough information to explain the observed chimp/gorilla behaviors.

    Oh, and of course, the noble chimp is every bit as much a fabrication as the noble savage.

  19. Exile1981

    There is a reason that most holiwood chimps are actually bonobos. The two species look nearly identical, the difference is that chimpanzees are very agressive while bonobos are not.

    Sceibtists have long thought that the aggression in chimps was caused by the close proximaty of gorrilas competing for food. Contrary to the article fights between chimps and gorrillas are not uncommon

  20. Uncle Mike

    Scam artistes. They’re all scamming like crazy. Not a one of the crack egg spurts does an honest days work ever. All chasing free money, your money, stolen from you by more scam artistes. Blame Traitor Joe and his ilk. Rapaciousness writ large. The monkeys are mere pawns. We are the pigeons and the sheep.

  21. Tom Welsh

    It was not so long ago that all the experts were positive that chimps were vegetarians. I clearly recall the horror that greeted the first videos of chimps catching, ripping apart and eating small monkeys.

    Ironically, this kind of discovery can be seen as encouraging from an ethical perspective. Aldous Huxley wrote a book entitled “Ape or Angel?” Obviously, today, we must admit that we are apes – indeed, we are scientifically classified as such. (“The Third Chimpanzee” as Jared Diamond put it).

    So instead of feeling like fallen angels who behave in disgustingly sinful ways, we can now see ourselves as apes who have come quite a long way. Some of us (a vanishingly small number, but it’s a start) have done quite remarkable things, as a result of which the great majority now live far better and longer lives.

    I commend my variant of the Alcoholics Anonymous routine. look at yourself in the mirror, and repeat calmly “I am an ape. I have the body of an ape, and the instincts of an ape. Nevertheless, I will do my best to live up to the ethical ideals of the best, kindest and most altruistic humans”.

  22. Mammal With Pants

    The replacements are coming due to climate change, globull warming, ozone hole, is a great find mucker due to the fact that adding millions of people to an already crowded continent will not be good for the ecosystem.
    Lady Nature will hit the reset button and make the COV-LARP look like a Sunday afternoon in the park.
    You must fight to live on the planet of the Manboons.

  23. Dr K.A. Rodgers

    Tom Welsh: Thankyou for your comment.

    The killing and consumption of other animals by chimps has been known for decades. When Jane Goodall reported her first studies of a chimpanzee family other workers in the field speculated that her chimps might be ill when she failed to report any incident of fresh meat consumption.

    Interestingly whoever makes the kill, regardless of their social ranking in the family, gets to decide who eats it. They eat their fill while the others wait patiently in the hope of a handout.

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