How Did Such A Smart Guy Get So Stupid: Bill Gates & Cow Farts 

How Did Such A Smart Guy Get So Stupid: Bill Gates & Cow Farts 


Bill Gates can’t be an idiot. I take his career as obvious proof of this. The man has made a mark. Then retired from that which made him his moola. Then he became, well, quite stupid.

Here is one of an increasing set of evidence of the baffling behavior in which Billy Boy now indulges himself. He frets about cows farting.

Cattle, he says, account for “6% of of global emissions” of methane. I have no idea if that’s true or false. But it is a concerning figure for our Billy.

I looked up (not remembering the precise number) how much methane is in the air. NOAA says 1930 parts per billion. Or so: plus or minus. Another way to write that is as a fraction:


This is as a fraction of the total stuff swirling around us. NOAA also says there’s about a 10 part per billion (ppb) increase of methane per annum. That’s this much in fractional terms:


Now let’s remove all of the 6% that Billy says, and we’ll trust him, cows contribute to the annual increase (we can’t remove what they have already contributed). Which is this much:


Which, after next year’s increase, gives this amount (the old plus the new increase, sans cow contributions):

0.00000193 + 0.0000000006 = 0.000001939.

This is the best case ideal situation, don’t forget, where all methane from cow farts is contained or eliminated by forcing us to eat lab-generated meat (which presumably generates 0 methane).

It can’t be believed that old Billy’s efforts will get 100% of that 6%, nor anything close to it. Don’t forget that eliminating cow farts is not a scientific solution, but a political one. There’s no way old Billy can contribute enough of his own parts per billion of his total wealth to convince the entire world to give up meat.

What’s a good guess of how much he can get? This source says there’s about a billion cows in the world. Yum. Can Billy’s French friends strap active carbon diapers to a billion cows? No, sir, they cannot. How about—and let’s be exceedingly generous—10%, or 100 million cows? Assuming these diapers don’t leak, and the cows don’t burp, then old Billy’s plan can reduce the methane increase by 10% of the 6%, which is 0.006 of the total, or this much


I don’t believe it, but one nervous source says methane accounts for 30% of the increase in global temperatures. I don’t believe it because it’s model driven, and climate models’ veracity are questionable (another generous word). But let’s use it. At best, the absolute best we can imagine, old Billy’s plan will reduce the increase in global temperatures by about


All right, so what. What does that mean in terms of actual temperature? says the rate of increase in global temperature is about 0.11°F per decade. Who knows how true it is, and I don’t think it has much veracity, but it’s official. That 0.11°F per decade makes 0.011°F per year. Which means, in the first year alone of old Billy’s plan, we can shave off


from the coming yearly increase. If the models and his plan is perfect and he can diaper, or eliminate, 100 million cows.

Scoff at this number if you like, but it’s been so cold here in Michigan this summer that I would gratefully accept it.

Alas, having grown cynical of science, I do not believe even the 0.000198°F, and think the real effect would be much, much less.

I don’t know if old Billy believes the number or not. To believe or not would mean he has made the kinds of calculations we did. Has he? One doubts. But suppose he has and does believe. Then he is crazy or stupid. He does not otherwise seem crazy or stupid. Which means the explanation must lie elsewhere.

Some guess this is his way to foist fake meat on the public, using fear to sell it to politicians, many of whom are actively and maliciously stupid. There might be something to this. But, I think, not much. Because if old Billy was merely avaricious he wouldn’t be earnestly trying to give so much of this own money away.

He could want power. Depriving people of meat is right up there in terms of hard, bold power moves. Seems to me, though, that the sort of power he seeks is nerd power. He doesn’t care that people obey him so much as he desires people believe his sciencey beliefs.

That leaves us with True Believer. He has bought “climate change”. He surrounds himself with those who preach it. And the reason he surrounds himself with Experts is because he fears what these Experts whisper in his ear.

Fear, then, is my explanation for old Billy’s curious behavior.

Subscribe or donate to support this site and its wholly independent host using credit card click here. Or use the paid subscription at Substack. Cash App: $WilliamMBriggs. For Zelle, use my email:, and please include yours so I know whom to thank.


  1. Michael D.

    Awesome Monday morning reading, thank you. Yes, Michigan does need to increase the heat a little bit. Maybe my sister’s new calf will be just enough to make our summer perfect.


  2. McChuck

    The “environmentalists” believe that animals are a threat to the environment.
    That’s everything you ever needed to know about them and their plans.

  3. Cloudbuster

    “Evil” should not be overlooked as an explanation.

  4. Brian (bulaoren)

    Has anyone considered “Beano”?

  5. Ralph Mertesdorf

    Smart Guy? I think not. Never has been. Corrupt, yes. Always. Backed by daddy’s money.

  6. jwm

    I dunno, Briggs. Maybe Gates has a point. I began my morning with a check on the weather from National Weather Service, (noaa). NWS has hazardous weather warnings posted due to excessive heat. (NWS reminds us that we have hazardous air quality, even in the winter when the rain falls and the wind blows.) No escaping it! There are yellow borders on the next few days’ weather, and the temps here in So Cal may reach 88 degrees. I’ve lived here for a very long time, and lemme tell ya’, I’ve never seen anything like it. Not to worry, though. Cal Trans has come to the rescue with warning signs in flashing lights over the freeway, telling us all to… wait for it… Drink water! These same signs helped us all during the covid panic, by telling everyone to wear masks. The government has our backs here in the Golden State.


  7. Dixon Craig

    Kinda warm today (in the middle of July-who would have guessed?), so I turn the AC down by 0.000198°F….. nice and cool now!

  8. Incitadus

    He’s not stupid we are. It’s important to understand how these people see you, think of the
    invasive species in Australia the cane toad, camel, donkey, foxes, rabbits, feral cats, etc.
    that’s how they’d really like to deal with you. Always remember in their book the greatest
    threat to the environment is you.

  9. Anonymous

    It’s not fear, it’s propaganda to increase self-loathing, to motivate a global Jonestown for the human extinction movement, using poisoned “medicines” he hopes to supply. If Gates actually cared about HotColdWetDry then he would want to get the numbers right, and then the argument wouldn’t be so transparently fake.

  10. Brian (bulaoren)

    What if, while strolling barefoot through a cow pasture, as a youth, Bill Gates trod upon a warm cow pie? What if that experience forever poisoned him against dairy cattle? Just sayin’…

  11. Milton Hathaway

    Bill Gates is the beneficiary of no small amount of dumb luck and some incredibly short-sighted business decisions by IBM. Rush Limbaugh used to talk about celebrities and the rich who benefited greatly from luck, who then develop “imposter syndrome”; they realize that any number of people who were equally well prepared and talented could be in their place if the dice had rolled a bit differently, and they develop a guilt complex about it. When you mix guilt and extreme wealth you often end up with a pin-headed liberal who supports stupid causes, characterized by efforts that invariably make things worse.

    “They don’t know that they are evil.”

  12. Milton Hathaway

    Another thought: aren’t cows “carbon neutral”? And a “renewable resource”?

  13. C-Marie

    Hilarious, All!
    Let us keep All of us, prayed for every day …. even those who oppose.

    God bless, C-Marie

  14. Hagfish Bagpipe

    What C-Marie said.

  15. Spuyten Duyvil

    What is Bill’s plan to corral all the methane from the other Artiodactyla species, like antelope, pigs, camels and deer? Michigan probably has more pigs, deer and the similar equine species than cows. Bill Gates has some serious work ahead for this silly adventure.

  16. Mike Borgelt

    Not only that but the methane absorption band of any consequence is overlayed by water vapor so methane is probably of zero importance.

  17. Edward Del Colle

    I think they should contain all the hot air coming out of the capital in Washington and use that to power turbine generators to pay for the lights there as a green example LOL

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *